Girls Night In

  1. How to Burn You Cake and Eat it Two…

    Ok, Hi. First to introduce ourselves…. I’m C, and she’s E. We’re “Across-the-hall-mates” soon to be “Across-town-mates” and we have fun. We just don’t get a lot of things that other girls do. Seriously. What is it about estrogen that makes the female species so damn obnoxious? I mean, to be honest, we even annoy <i>ourselves</i> sometimes. But hey we’re women, mocking other women, cheering on strong women, and basically having our two cents. (And not in a two-cent-ho kinda of way) Care to get a bit more personal? Ok, I’ll make it brief

    C: Author, Poet, Lyricist, Artist, Mom-to-Be, Opinionated, Stubborn, Geek.

    E: Singer/Songwriter, Mother, Organizer, Writer, Clumsy, Curious, Different, Not-Quite as geek as C.

    Ok, on to the review.

    C: Tonight, I took us out for our first girls night in a long time. In true form, we saw Sex and the City II at the midnight show. Why? I think I must have been medicated the day I made that decision. (HEAVILY medicated, E adds….) We arrived to a gaggle of over-dressed girls, gay men in pants that should show up on the “Not-Pants” blog, (Should have scored a picture. Damn!) and one fat creepy guy that didn’t know how to silence his phone. (Did we mention he was there…ALONE?!?!!?) We spent the next two and half hours of horrid giggles, bad fashion, and cheesy movie moments wishing for Riff-Tracks. Seriously guys, there is just waaaaayyyy too much material for you in this sequel of epic failure proportions. From the soundtrack (I’ll leave that to E) to the clothes, I was disappointed.

    The movie lacked the comedic sparkle that made the four spunky girls a less than guilty pleasure, and well, the company. Let’s just say, every guy that showed up on screen, was greeted by an assortment of giggles from the girl to my left. Honestly, why giggle? Don’t you realize you just sound like an airhead? And, newsflash, theatres are COLD. If you chose to wear gladiator heels and a short pantsuit that went out of style in with Farrah Faucet (may she RIP) then I don’t want to hear you shivering three rows down. After all, it’s freakin’ midnight, no one gives a crap what you look like, and if you are going for the SatC look, well, when I was 6 and playing dress up with boas I guess I was too.

    E: First off, let me say that the term “sexy bitches” was never, and WILL NEVER be okay. Ever. EVER!!!! (neither will making excessive kissy faces at your girlfriends)

    Okay. Now that I got THAT out of the way… I’m going to go backwards on this one. The Soundtrack, that is. Because the most irksome of all of it was the last song. “True Colors” by Cindy Lauper. In a movie about WOMEN, made for WOMEN, catered to and promoted to WOMEN and that received an audience full of, oh…WOMEN - ( not to mention the wonderful rendition of karaoke “I am Woman”- gag me) You couldn’t have just picked the all-time-favorite, “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun?” Or could you not use that in a second film starring Sarah Jessica Parker? (Link to “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, the movie, here: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089208/)
    Between the dressed-in-white all-men’s choir (present for a Gay wedding scene in the film and yes, on the soundtrack) and Lisa Minneli’s rendition of Beyonce’s well-known hit, “Single Ladies”, ( I’d like to say that she still has nice legs, though not as nice as Sarah J. Parkers [ pretty much the only part of her that doesn’t look her age in the movie])the soundtrack was to say the least…interesting.

    Or in other, less generous terms…I hated it. But my opinion doesn’t really matter. Then again, you’re reading this, so maybe it does.

    Aside from an awful soundtrack, way too many cheesy moments (accompanied - of course - by Cheesy music. “True Colors” is a perfect example.) and the infinite amount of “sexy bitches” behind us ( I want to vomit after typing that…) - The night was enjoyable. However, there’s nothing like a theatre full of pms-ing females in way-too-tight clothes and shoes that look like the eiffle tower on stilts to make you realize just how NOT girly you are. Oh, and we can’t forget about the fat, creepy old guy with the lack of technology know-how and a pedo-stach. We tried making ourselves feel better about him being there by saying he was “screening” the movie for his daughters. But I can’t get images of him wanking it to Samantha’s profile out of my head….

    Okay, now I really want to vomit. Throw me a Louis Vuitton handbag I can ruin( make that a Birkin Bag, then Samantha can have another menopausal breakdown), let’s Really fuck shit up!

    See what I mean about the clothes?

    Oh, and here’s the OST tracklist, for all you music lovers out there who want to torture yourselves with knowlege:

    01 Alicia Keys – Rapture 04:47
    02 Dido – Everything to Lose 04:29
    03 Cee Lo – Language of Love 04:00
    04 Erykah Badu – Window Seat 04:50
    05 Natacha Atlas – Kidda 04:57
    06 Michael McGregor – Euphrates Dream 03:38
    07 Liza Minnelli – Single Ladies (Put a Ring on it) 03:13
    08 Ricki-Lee – Can’t touch it 02:52
    09 Alicia Keys – Empire State of Mind (Part II Broken Down)
    10 Jennifer Hudson and Leona Lewis – Love is your Color 03:41
    11 Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis, Cynthia Nixon – I’m a Woman
    12 Sex and the City Men’s Choir – If ever I would leave You
    13 Sex and the City Men’s Choir – Sunrise Sunset 03:43
    14 Sex and the City Men’s Choir – Till there was You 02:01
    15 Shayna Steele, Jordan Ballard, Kamilah Marshall – Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered
    16 Liza Minnelli – Ev’ry Time We say Goodbye 04:24
    17 Cyndi Lauper – True Colors 03:46
    18 Aaron Zigman – Divas and Dunes 02:46

    Well. That’s our take, but you don’t have to take us seriously. See it yourself. Or, wait, don’t. We probably don’t know you, but we don’t hate you, so skip it.
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